The Woes of Being Chris Redfield
by 5ive
Summary: Chris is "taking a break" from work because Jill thinks he needs to focus on his personal life. She also seems to believe that Piers is in love with him and that Chris has to make the first move. Everybody else seems to think this too. It's simply outrageous. Rated M for language (for now). Crack. Romance. Manfeels.
1. Chapter 1

**January 2014**

Chris shuffles around in the kitchen, in denial about cooking something new as usual. Finally, he settles for unpeeled poorly cut cucumber slices, whole tomatoes and steak. It's one of the few things he can cook, if you can call it cooking - taking it out of the packaging and sticking it in the oven is not exactly a rocket science.

His stomach rumbles as he is waiting for it to get ready, he likes it well cooked, none of that medium rare shit. It seems like it's been days since Chris has last eaten, or at least eaten well, so his patience is wearing thin. While he waits, he decides to make a grocery list. If Jill is forcing him to take a break from the BSAA missions and focus on his "personal life" - he almost laughed when she said it, but her stern look had kept him in check - then he might as well try to have one.

What do people eat, he wonders, hitting the pen in his hand against the desk quietly as he wonders. Vegetables aren't really his thing, but meat is. Maybe he should get chicken, he could put that in the oven too, Chris assumes.

As he's wondering about what other meat can be cooked with minimal supervision, his phone rings. It's Jill again, probably calling to offer more life advice.

"Yeah?" he picks up gruffly, still mostly half asleep.

"Tell me you intend on doing something productive today."

She's already got the big guns out, huh. Chris huffs under his breath. "You mean like sitting on my ass and pretending I have a life?"

Jill snorts on the other end like it's the funniest shit she's heard recently. "I think we already reached the conclusion that there is more to life than killing monsters and chasing bio-terrorists, Chris." she says, like it's a universal truth.

"Well, I wasn't convinced." Chris makes sure to tell her, impaling a cucumber slice on his fork and sticking it in his mouth to munch shamelessly as Jill starts to talk again.

"I don't care if you're not convinced yet. Wong and Simmons have been taken care of, the C-virus has been contained for the time being - there is no work for you right now, Chris, face it."Jill lectures him, her tone firm and superior, as though she is talking to a child. Chris doesn't like it. He considers hanging up on her, but then she continues. "And did I mention that you have a fine young man pining for you, waiting for you to make your move?"

Chris scoffs. "You are delusional, partner."

"But I'm not your partner anymore, am I, Chris? He is." She says, and Chris can swear she's smiling that infuriating all-knowing smile of hers on the other end.

"Yeah, he confirms, my partner at work, but I'm on a forced vacation now, remember?" He points out, momentarily feeling like he's winning the argument. Then Jill has to ruin it.

"Weren't you the one who wanted to leave the B.S.A.A.? Turn in his badge and leave for good?" She asks, her tone growing impatient.

Chris frowns and doesn't answer. Sure, he wanted to leave, but that was before everything with Piers had happened. Before the younger man's sacrifice, before they'd had to convince Jake Muller to give them his blood to test as a cure, before Piers had got better...

"He isn't pining for me." Chris says out loud before he can help himself, then curses under his breath. Damn Jill for putting this idea in his head, it can't possibly lead to anything good, can it? And Chris isn't keen on making a fool of himself.

Jill snorts again.

"Stop doing that, it's an annoying sound." Chris scolds her and then she snorts yet again on purpose.

"The boy's waiting for your every word, every look, every move, Chris." she says cheekily "with how young, brave and handsome he is, he could probably have anyone." she then purrs and Chris growls before he can stop himself. Jill laughs on the other end as a reply.

"You better tell me what your point is." Chris demands, stuffing another cucumber slice in his mouth as a means of distracting himself. It works poorly since now he can't stop thinking about Piers and how devoted the young man truly has been to him in the last few years. Sure they'd had their moments but it was just the intensity of their work environment, right? What else could it have been.

Jill interrupts his train of thought. "My point is that you've pretended to be clueless for long enough already. It's been six months since China, Piers is almost entirely healed from the virus and you should take this opportunity to make him yours."

"Make him mine?" Chris repeats, staring at the kitchen counter, his own voice sounding alien to him, as much as the words do.

"Yes, Chris." Jill officially sounds like she's had enough of him. "Just grab him already, admit that you love him and then have hot sex with him for the rest of your lives." she snaps.

Chris stares. "What has gotten into you?" he asks.

"I can still see through your bullshit, even from a thousand miles away," She says in a low, almost threatening tone, then adds in a hiss "partner."

"You're not my partner." Chris corrects her immediately. Piers is his partner.

There is a pause on the other end. And then Jill says "I rest my case." before promptly hanging up.

Chris frowns and eyes the oven. When is that steak going to be ready anyway? Piers is not pining after him. He's not sure how the two are connected.


	2. Chapter 2

In the early afternoon Leon comes for a visit as though he has nothing better to do. Chris eyes him straight from the doorway, even as he invites him in.

"I don't recall ever giving you my home address." he says and Leon smirks at him.

"My powers of research can't be matched." he says, giving Chris a playful grin.

Chris rolls his eyes as a reply before heading for the kitchen to get them a couple of beers. He opens them and hands one to Leon who seems to be observing him carefully.

"What is it?" Chris asks, already curious about this unexpected visit. Leon shrugs his shoulders some and leans back against the table, his boyish haircut covering half of his face, leaving Chris unable to read his expression. "There must be a reason as to why you're here." he adds.

Leon sets his beer down and hums. "Would you believe me if I told you I was just making sure you're okay?"

Chris raises an eyebrow in suspicion. "No." he determines with a short nod.

Leon shrugs again. "Fair enough." he takes another pause, as though he is wondering if he should be telling Chris the truh or not. Finally, he says "Jill told me about what happened."

Oh no, Chris thinks to himself. This better not be another matchmaking strategy of Jill's. He never really pegged her for the kind of person who tried to play Cupid with unwilling participants. Or the kind of person to play Cupid at all. It was unlike her. And Piers wasn't pining after him anyway.

"What did she tell you about? The C-Virus?"

Leon raises an eyebrow "I've known about the C-Virus since before China. I was in pursuit of Wong and Simmons, remember?"

Chris huffs under his breath, straightening up. "That is not what I meant." he says. "Did she tell you that Piers injected himself with it? That he mutated? Risked his life for me? Had to be cured for months?"

Leon has fallen silent, expression yet again unreadable. Chris continues "And let me guess, she also told you about her outrageous theory about Piers being in love with me?"

Leon seems to think about it for a moment before answering. "Actually, she briefly mentioned you being in love with him."

Chris chokes on his mouthful of beer and then rubs his temples, frowning. Where is Jill getting these ideas from?

"Why would she think any of this?" He asks out loud, not really expecting Leon to answer, even though he does.

"I met you two, remember?" he points out. "When we were pursing Ada Wong."

Chris fails to see how that answers his question. "So?"

Leon sighs in that way Chris has seen parents sigh before explaining something supposedly simple to their children. "I am not blind, Chris. The kid was hanging onto your every word and you trusted him more than you trusted me at that time."

Chris nods slowly. It was true. That night had been a haze of shooting the infected, eliminating monsters, chasing Wong and losing his team in the proces. Piers had been the one to stick by his side until the very end, ever so loyal and determined to achieve their mission. Chris' thoughts wander further to the last few months, during Piers' recovery. After everything he'd been through, Piers had the right to leave the B.S.A.A. and never even think about speaking to Chris ever again. But instead, he had already expressed interest in joining Chris' new team for their next mission.

"So it is true then?" Leon asks, eyes on Chris, intent, expectant. Chris is not sure what Leon is expecting to hear right now.

"That Piers and I went through a lot? It's true." he says. Leon shakes his head.

"You don't have to give me details, believe me, I'd rather be spared." he says "But is it true there's something going on between you and this Piers kid?"

Chris frowns. "He's 25 years old, Leon, not a kid. You look more like a kid than he does with your silly teen haircut."

Leon crosses his arms in front of his chest and cocks his head to the side, still expecting an answer to his outrageous question. An answer Chris refuses to give.

"You want another beer?" he asks, opening the fridge again. He hears Leon sigh behind him.

"Jill warned me about this. Did you hit your head somewhere or something? You didn't use to be such a coward."

Chris spins around to face him, shocked at the nerve. "Coward? What does any of this have to do with fear? How am I a coward?" he asks, eyes boring into the eye Leon's long fringe is not covering.

Leon offers a vauge gesture. "That's for you to tell me, Chris. Are you afraid of rejection? Are you afraid of being called a fag? Afraid of everyone finding out? What is it that's got you so spooked you're staying hauled up in your apartment like a rat?"

Chris growls at this, already getting sick of this whole ordeal. "First Jill, now you." he grunts. "What is it with you people and trying to push me into something so unexpected?"

"Is it unexpected though?" Leon combats immediately. "You said so yourself - you've been through a lot with this partner of yours, you've known him for years. If there really is something, it must have been brewing for a while. Unless you're really this heavy on the denial."

Chris looks up at the ceiling, almost ready to pray for the first time in his life. Who else is he to expect to talk to him about this next? Claire? Sheva?

He gives Leon a look. "Let's drop this already." he says. Leon nods in agreement but Chris can tell he's not done with the topic yet. They have Chris' poorly cooked lunch together, talking about the B.S.A.A., Leon's possible conquests , and even Ada Wong.

After Leon leaves Chris finally allows himself to think back on what he and Jill pestered him about. He thinks about China, about Piers fighting him during their mission, about his sacrifice when the Haos monster was after them. They had spent so much time alone, if Piers really wanted something from Chris, he surely would have asked, right?

Chris growls in frustration to himself. He can't anwer these questions for himself. He has to either let it go or spend some extra time with Piers and observe his attitude. Yes. He's letting it go, Chris decides.

But it wouldn't hurt to have a beer with Piers sometime this week anyway. He reaches for his phone.


	3. Chapter 3

Chris made a New Year's Resolution to keep people out of his business but for the life of him, he can't figure out why it's been so difficult to have his own former partners and friends to do it. First it had been Jill, and then Leon - what was next? Claire was going to drop by and announce she was to efficiate in his and Piers' wedding?

Chris scowls as he dials Piers' number. He's not going to let these crazy people surrounding him scare him away from his partner. Now that Piers was back on his feet, the best way to prove that nothing was going on between them as to spend some normal time together. Chris would arrange for them to go on a mission, but since he's "on holiday" they'll have to settle for a bar or something.

"Captain? Captain!" Piers' voice helps snap him out of his jumbled thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm here. What's up?" Chris hurries to answer completely forgetting that he's the one who called Piers.

"Uhm, nothing much, captain, I'm just filling out some forms for the B.S.A.A right now."

This makes Chris perk up. Good. Let them talk about work for a while. This should provide enough evidence for him of Piers' lack of crush on him.

"What forms? You're still on sick-leave." he supplies.

"But I fully intend for the sick leave to end soon now that I've resumed my training, captain." is the answer, coming in a mildly annoyed tone. Chris notes that Piers keeps calling him ''captain''. Surely if the younger man had a crush on him, he'd call him by his name. Wait, what?

"What do you mean you resumed training?" Chris inquires, starting to get worried. Piers goes so overboard in his ambition sometimes that Chris doesn't know how to get him back in line. "Why haven't I been informed of this?" he questions sharply.

"Because I knew you would try to stop me." Piers says as though it's self-explanatory. "And I didn't feel like fighting you again, frankly."

"Good, because you would've lost that fight." Chris says.

Piers snorts "Sure" he says, clearly humouring him. Chris fumes silently at this and considers hanging up. But gets himself back on track soon enough.

"Tell me which doctor told you you're fit for returning to duty, Piers." he demands to know.

There is a pause on the other end. "They all did." Piers says "I've been itching to get back to work for a while now so I took the opportunity. I've training tomorrow as well."

"Oh, you've been itching for it, have you?" Chris smirks, finding it surprisingly funny-sounding. Not that he hasn't been itching to shoot some monsters himself, but really, when Piers had said it, it sounded beyond silly.

"Yeah, captain, don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about." Piers says, actually sounding slightly distracted.

This is when Chris remembers that there was a specific purpose to his phone call. He clears his throat. "Listen, Piers, we can discuss this reckless idea of yours over a beer tonight. What do you say?"

"Well, honestly, I would rather not have to discuss my choice, Chris." There went Chris' theory about Piers not using his name and therefore not having a crush. He feels busted.

"Then we'll talk about something else." Chris tries to sound dismissive with his suggestion.

"Talk about what?" the younger man questions.

Chris curses under his breath. Damn, what's with the questions? He feels like he's being cornered into giving some specific answer.

"You know, this and that." is his inconspicuous reply. Piers seems to buy it on the other side. He's either really distracted or surprisingly slow today but Chris can't complain. He's taking his ex partner out for a beer and that's what he really wants right now. "So shall I pick you up, in an hour?" he asks, wondering briefly if it sounds gay. But he can't let Piers walk, can he? The kid's been through a lot.

"An hour?" Piers sounds incredulous. "I need more than that to get ready."

Chris' eyebrows furrow as he frowns. What on earth does Piers need to get ready for? It's not like they're going on a date.

Damn.

Damn Jill, damn Leon, damn everyone who managed to make him consider something this outrageous. Chris literally shakes the thought out of his head. "What do you need to get ready for?" he asks out loud.

Piers takes a second to answer. "Well, you know, this and that."

He's mocking him. The kid has the nerve to mock his own captain. Chris huffs and crosses one arm over his chest, if only to appear remotely intimidating even though Piers can't see him right now.

"Fine." Chris finally concludes. "Three hours. I be at your front door at 21 hundred hours."

Piers chuckles on the other end of the line. "Good one, Chris. Way to make me not miss serving under you."

"I'll show you serving under me." Chris mutters under his breath without thinking, then wishes the ground could swallow him whole.

"What?" Piers asks immediately, his voice wavering.

This is all Jill and Leon's fault, Chris decides.


End file.
